with Who? What? Why?
What's your best tweet?
Hmm. The one that got retweeted most was about Wills & Kate's marriage - Please let Harry be in charge of the stag do #think of the pictures
What are six things you could never do without?
Twinings Earl Grey tea. iPhone (DAMN YOU STEVE JOBS). Chocolate. Newspapers. Oxygen. Water.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
As a news feed for the events of the day, a barometer for how the public feel about major events, and to fill the time between cups of tea.
Twitter or Facebook?
Twitter is quicker, but shallower. FB is more involved, but sloooooow.
What feature should Twitter add?
The number of users online at any one time would be dead handy.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
I wish my mum had a subsconscious one straight from her head. Then again, maybe I don't. Nag, nag, nag...
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
'Thanks' because there's no excuse for lessening it, and anything that would make you sound like text-speak.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
@Its_Death. Because once he follows me, I know I'll have arrived.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Ugh. People who are boring, celebrities who are dull and can't spell, and a couple of loony stalker types.
Why should we vote for you?
Because I'm an old-school newspaper hack evolving, like a dinosaur growing a bluetooth headset. SAVE ME!
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Who is fleetstreetfox?
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
I've got laid a couple of times. Does that count?
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#hallelosers. I set up my own church in a satirical anti-Scientology swipe, but it was before I got big enough to have much impact.
How do you make your tweets unique?
What inspires you to tweet?
Boredom, pedantry, excitement, rolling news, and idiots who must be put right.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Every day. But then my boss is mainly just jel I've got 10 times his followers.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Get a handle that says who and what you are, don't tweet what you're not interested in, and be yourself. Also, roll with the criticism.
How long can you go without a tweet?
However long the Tube journey takes.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
Someone, somewhere, will find a way to make money out of being on it.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That a tweet doesn't count - it's still publishing, and there's still a human being on the other end who cares what you say.
Why should people follow you?
Because I'm anonymous I can tell you stuff about the news the 'real me' can't. Cos the real me has a mortgage to pay.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
@Betfairpoker is deeply philosophical. @Mylifeyourhands is darkly fascinating.
How do you decide what to tweet?
It's whatever passes through my head. Sadly.
Why'd you start tweeting?
I had to try to understand it to find news stories, and kind of tripped over it.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
My boss says it keeps me quiet and stops me distracting everyone else in the newsroom.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Bad grammar, and apparently making a joke about Robin Hood airport doesn't go down well either.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
We'll be like the fat fucks in Wall-E.